|
Trainspotting Sunnydale Style 3/3
Jennifer
R mostly for language
Spoilers: Season four but nothing in detail
Distribution: FINNatics. Anyone else, lemme know so that I can go look.
Disclaimer: Buffy and Co owned by Joss, Fox, WB, Mutant Enemy, etc.
Trainspotting... screenplay by John Hodge based on novel by Irvine Welsh.
Notes: I was sitting downstairs with my kids while they played indoor hockey
and watched Winnie the Pooh when this came to me. Really, it was the idea of
Spike as Begbie that made me decide to finally write it. I'm not doing the
whole thing. Just certain scenes. If you've never seen Trainspotting, I
really suggest you do. It's an incredible movie if you can get past the
crapper (don't worry, I'm not having Buffy dive into a toilet after a demon).
This is a challenge response to the movie challenge issued on
BuffyRileyfanfic. It's written in screenplay form. I could reasonably go
further with this but since the feedback has been minimal ( and I understand
why, but still, it's disconcerting).
<Int. GilesSwanney's Flat. Day.
BuffyRenton hands GilesSwanney a medallion that she had taken from the sharp
toothed demons.
GileSwanney hands BuffyRenton a book.
Also present is SickboyFinn, XanderSpud, and WillowTommy>
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - It looks easy, this, but it's not. It looks like
a soft option, but living like this, it's a full time business.
<Int. BuffyRenton's dorm. Night
BuffyRenton, XanderSpud, and Sickboyfinn are stuffing weapons in their
clothing>
<Int. GilesSwanney's flat. Day.
BuffyRenton sits back with book>
<Ext. Cemetary. Night.
BuffyRenton, XanderSpud are running.
Two sharp-toothed demons are running after them>
<Int. GilesSwanney's flat. Day>
Sickboyfinn - Shaquille O'Neal... the quintessential NBA center. That's what
everyone says. The embodiment of the Lakers superiority to the league: big,
strong, highly effective and a total team guy. Shit. Let's face it. If
he'd take 100 million from one team, he'd take from the whole damned league.
<Int. GilesSwanney's flat. Later.
Gang still researching>
<Int. BuffyRenton's house. Night.
BuffyRenton digs into her Slayer supplies that she stashes at home>
<Ext. Cemetary. Night.
BuffyRenton and XanderSpud running>
<Int. Crypt. Night.
SpikeBegbie walks in carrying a crowbar, followed by Sickboyfinn and
XanderSpud>
<Int. GilesSwanney's flat. Day>
Sickboyfinn - Michael Jordon, aka Air Jordon. What a total fucking mismomer.
But at least you knw where you are with a player like that. Not much
personality but loyalty... that's what keeps a franchise going. I mean
loyalty is what inspires the true fan.
<Int. Crypt. Night.
SpikeBegbie and Sickboyfinn turn the crypt over in search of any clues
revealing sharp-toothed demons whereabouts>
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - GilesSwanney taught us to adore and respect the
library system for it was the source of much of our information. We used
books on mythology, demonology, alchemy, witchcraft, and magick. Fairy tales
and fables. Medieval latin, aramic, Russian, Romanian, Slovak... The
library is awash with material that you can use for vamire and demon hunting
and we used them all. Fuck it, we would have read Dr. Suess is only Sam I Am
was running amok.
<Int. Willy's. Night.
BuffyRenton, WillowTommy, XanderSpud, Sickboyfinn, and SpikeBegbie sit around.
SpikeBegbie and XanderSpud are drinking.
They observe a Fyral demon walk in wearing a similar medallion to the one
BuffyRenton gave to GilesSwanney.
SpikeBegbie stands up.
Fyral turns from bar to see SpikeBegbie, BuffyRenton, Sickboyfinn,
XanderSpud, and WillowTommy apporaching. SpikeBegbie punches and kicks the
demon and pulls out a knife>
<Ext. Street. Night.
SpikeBegbie, WillowTommy, BuffyRenton, SickboyFinn, and XanderSpud stare at
the medallion and nod to each other.
SpikeBegbie - and remember, BuffyRenton, no bloody slaying, yet.
BuffyRenton - yeah, right, Will.
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - But the good times couldn't last forever.
<Int. GilesSwanney's flat. Night.
Scoobies have done spell to locate sharp toothed demons using the medallions.
AngelAllison enters the flat looking gloomier than usual.
The gang turns their attention to AngelAllison>
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - I know AngelAllison had been brooding for a
century but it was always something we just accepted. So he might have been
more gloomy than usual for days for all I knew.
Sickboyfinn - What's wrong, AngelAllison?
<AngelAllisonn points to AmyRat's cage at his side.
Sickboyfinn follows AngelAllison's directions>
XanderSpud - Everything's going to be all right deadboy, tone down the
dramatics.
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - Nothing could have been further from the truth.
In point of fact, nothing at all was going to be all right. On the contrary,
everything was going to be bad. Bad? I mean worse than it already was.
<Sickboyfinn stares at the cage. The rat is dead>
Sickboyfinn - oh fuck.
<Sickboyfinn reaches for AngelAllison>
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - It wasn't my rat. She wasn't my rat. AmyRat.
She wasn't mine. WillowTommy's. I don't know. Maybe AmyRat knew. Maybe
not. I wish I could think of something to say. Something sympathetic.
Something human.
AngelAllison - Say something, BuffyRenton. Say something-
BuffyRenton - I'm slaying.
<BuffyRenton starts scrambling for a stake>
AngelAllison - Slay one for me, BuffyRenton.
<Ext. Cemetary. Night.
BuffyRenton and XanderSpud are pursued by two sharp-toothed demons>
BuffyRenton (voice-over) - Our only response to the Rat's death was to keep
on going and fuck everything. Pile misery upon misery. Heap it on a spoon
and dissolve it with a drop of adrenaline and use it to decapitate the next
demon and do it all over again. Keep on going: getting up, going out,
researching, staking, fighting, and killing demons from all over, propelling
ourselves with longing towards the day it would all go wrong. Because no
matter how much research, stake and kill, you never have enough. No matter
how much you fight, you always need to get up and do it all again.
End.
|